I went out with friends last night. We went to a bar somewhere in manila. Drink some beer and puff some cigarette. Went home by 4am and got sleep til 12pm. Woke up and went to the kitchen to get some coffee and have some lunch. After that, i call my friend Eloisa whom i am with last night and talked about funny things we have done. Then i spent little time bonding with charles. Talked about things he have done in school. Things he wanted to do for the whole day. He sung a song from school which his teacher taught them. Then a friend ring me and have chat with some things! Things about what had happened last night with my gimik, my friend's plan for Saturday coz it is his birthday party. I supposed to help him cook but he told me he changed his mind and he just asked me to come and be his guest. Discussed about some little topic. Then after that i decided to open my PC and connect to the internet....directly to friendster...i want to write a blog...i want to write something...but it seems that i am hanging in the air and got nothing to write...can't have a topic to write on. Its like i am lost! something is missing!?! something is wrong...and have to make it right. I've been too easy this past few months of my life. Everytime i feel alone and nothing to do and bored and angry ... the first thing i always want to do is go out and have a party with my friends. I almost forgot some real important things in my life that i have to priorities. That i have someone just right here beside me that i can go out with and talk with and bond with everytime i feel lonely. I feel so guilty that he's always there to make me feel that he loves me and he's there...just waiting for me to have time for him. Waiting for his turn. I have ignored him unconsciously! It's not that i don't love him nor care for him...but i just thought that he is not yet capable to understand me. But i was wrong! at his very young age, he adjust everything for me. Everytime i want to go out...he allows me to! everytime i dont want to talk to him...he will just go and play with his toys and playmates or talk to his nanny. I'll just gave him toys, food that he wants to eat and etc...But eventhough i'am like this to him, he's still the same with me...nothing change with his attitude and character...he still loves me, care for me and so sweet to me. Now i realized everything! i have finally woke up from a long sleep and decided to make it up to him! To try my best to bring back all the time and attention that i must give him. I don't wan't to promise anything, for promises are made to be broken! instead i wan't my speak be much louder than words and do everything and adjust for him... like how he adjust his life for me. I want to say sorry for everything...for all the time that he wanted me to be on his side...for all the time he wants to talk to me...for all the time that he wants to play with me...for the Love and care that i have missed to let and make him feel. I am sorry and i hope that this time...i will never again be fall asleep so that i can make him more happy and make him feel that i do love him so much! That nothing else in this world can replace his big part on me.

Original Date Posted        :

October 05, 2006

Link Posted                        :

http://sheleilla.blog.friendster.com/wp-admin/post.php?action=edit&post=19